spiritualintimacyLife-long marital satisfaction requires that couples move beyond sexual and emotional intimacy to become true soul mates. There is a spiritual bond, and a deeper sexual and emotional intimacy, that evolves uniquely when two people mature in marriage over the lesson of a lifetime.

So, what is Spiritual Intimacy? It is a love that does not fail, but opens the door to wonderment, gratitude, and awe. It is not a conflict free relationship, but serves like iron sharpening iron.

There are some barriers to spiritual intimacy because we are all born under the curse of sin, therefore sin becomes a barrier to spiritual intimacy. However, spiritual intimacy can be attained in the marriage when both husband and wife “make a commitment to spiritual growth and act on that commitment if they are to develop spiritual intimacy” (Clinton & Trent, 2009, p. 284). They must pursue beyond sexual and emotional intimacy and seek a spiritual bond rooted in a mature relationship with the Lord.

My husband and I have been married for 23 years now. However, 12 years ago we suffered through infidelity. That storm in our marriage made such an impact that we are stubbornly protective of guarding our marital connection and making sure that we remain close.

The scripture that we cling to in our marriage is, “And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can't” (Romans 7:18, New Living Translation). This scripture is something that my husband and I hold tightly to because it reminds us that although we oftentimes feel that we can live upright and that we would not fall prey to certain situations that are unpleasing to the Lord. We do fall and oftentimes when we least expect it. This scripture makes us aware that our sinful humanity is in constant conflict with the Spirit of God within us and that we must constantly feed our spirit so that our spirit is stronger than our sinful nature.

When our spirit man is strong, and our relationship with Christ is tightly knit, we are more likely to take on the character of Christ and display the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, kindness, self-control, long suffering, etc.) not only in relationship with our spouse but in every other area of our lives.

Think about your relationship, what scripture do you cling to and why?




Clinton, T. & Trent, J. (2009). The quick-reference guide to marriage and family counseling. Baker Book publishing group, Grand Rapids, MI