One of the more Significant Issues Generating Problems for Today’s Marriages

By:JaLana Walsh


There are many reasons why a marriage may fail. Some of those reasons may be: financial issues, marrying too young, marrying too quickly, faulty communication or infidelity. The reasons why couples divorce are extensive and may incorporate many underlying issues and reason.

However, a survey was conducted on divorces by Lynn Gigy and Joan Kelly from the Divorce Mediation Project in Corte Madera, California which said, “80 percent of divorced men and women said their marriage broke up because they gradually grew apart and lost a sense of closeness, or because they did not feel loved and appreciated” (Gotten & Silver, 1999). Many assume the primary issues that bring about divorce are, financial, lack of good communication or infidelity.

My husband and I have been married for a little over 23 years, however, over 12 years ago, we overcame the pain of infidelity. Based on our own situation, I would have guessed that infidelity would be a primary cause of divorce, after all it almost caused our marriage to end. However, after looking back, I can see that infidelity would not have been the sole reason for the divorce, it would have been the fact that we had lost the closeness we once had with one another; we lost touch with one another’s needs and had grown apart because we began to face hardship in life.

We began having serious financial issues because my husband had been laid off from his job, I had also lost my father to cancer months prior to the beginning of the affair. There were many factors that contributed to this season of hardship, but looking back, I can see that my husband and I had lost our connection. We both became withdrawn and didn’t find strength in one another.

Marriage takes a lot of work. Both husband and wife must be willing to do the work to maintain a happy, healthy marriage; especially when hardship hits your home. Don’t allow anything to break your bond or cause you to grow apart. Guard your closeness and seek to find strength in one another. Understanding this and working consistently to stay close and understand one another’s needs will safeguard your marriage as you journey through life. This will assure that the marriage is being cared for so that outside influences do not bring a wedge between the bond you have. 


Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Three Rivers Press.